Credit: Bon Appétit
Thanksgiving offers time to connect with people we love, take a break from the hustle and bustle, and enjoy the fall weather. However, if you are navigating eating disorder recovery, disordered eating, or body image anxiety, the holiday can bring up an overwhelming set of feelings. Whether it’s conversations about dieting, commentary about what's on your plate, unsolicited opinions about your body (seriously Boomers, give it a rest), or the pressure of managing family relationships, Thanksgiving (and other holidays spent with family) can feel like a daunting undertaking.
Sometimes it's not even the eating part that's difficult, it's the incessant conversations surrounding food, dieting, excessive exercise, and bodies. Your mom commenting on how much someone is eating, your cousin talking about the workout they did to “earn” their Thanksgiving meal, or the familiar conversation about “holiday weight” can make it difficult to stay present and connected to your grounded self.
We can't control what other people say or how they approach food and body, but we can prepare and think ahead about how to respond, what boundaries are necessary, and how to take care of yourself throughout the day.
Here are 5 Ways To Navigate Food and Body Talk this Thanksgiving, while staying connected to your grounded, intuitive, compassionate self.
1. Set Boundaries!
Just because someone makes a comment or asks a question, doesn’t mean you have to engage. You don't have to participate in every conversation, answer every question, or explain your relationship with food to anyone.
If someone makes a comment about your body, your eating habits, or what's on your plate, it's okay to let them know that you'd rather not discuss it.
A few examples are:
I'd rather not talk about food or bodies today
I'm prioritizing gratitude today rather than thinking about what I'm eating
Please don’t make comments about my body
I don't have to earn or compensate for the food I am eating
Let’s talk about something else
You don't need to justify your boundaries or convince someone that they're reasonable. Setting a boundary isn't about changing another person’s behavior, it's about taking care of you and deciding what you're willing to engage with.
2. Change the Subject
A conversation about calories, diets, weight, or aunt Deb’s latest fitness routine doesn’t need to drag on forever. Sometimes the easiest way to handle uncomfortable food and body talk is to redirect the conversation.
If someone starts talking about how much they ate, how they need to work off their meal, or how they need to go on a diet, try introducing a completely different topic.
A few examples are:
How was your recent vacation?
What are we grateful for this Thanksgiving?
How is your grandmother doing?
I’ve been loving the new season of Bake Off, who else is watching?
Remember the time…..
What is your favorite holiday tradition?
No need for a big announcement or apology for changing the subject! A simple pivot is enough.
3. Take a Break
Sometimes changing the subject isn't enough, and that's okay. If you notice yourself becoming overwhelmed, anxious, or preoccupied with food or body thoughts, take some time away from the group.
A few examples are:
Step outside for some fresh air
Spend time in a different room
Call a person you trust
Listen to a guided meditation
Guided breathing exercises
Pay attention to what is showing up. Are you feeling anxious? Are you noticing familiar eating disorder thoughts creeping in? Are you feeling shaky? Based on what’s showing up, offer yourself grounding, regulation, or distraction.
Taking a break doesn't mean you're giving up, avoiding the holiday or doing something wrong. You’re recognizing that you need a moment to regroup, and offering yourself the relief and care you deserve.
**Be mindful of the difference between taking a brief pause to regulate, and turning towards eating disorder behaviors for relief. Offer yourself compassion, it can be a difficult day! The hope is to reground, and return to the day feeling a little more present and engaged.
4. Lean on Your Support System
You’re not in this alone. If you know that certain family members, conversations, or situations tend to be triggering, talk to someone you trust before Thanksgiving. This might be a friend, family member, partner, therapist, or dietitian who understands your relationship with food and body.
Let them know what kind of support would feel most helpful.
A few examples are:
Thanksgiving is going to be a tough day, can you send me a check-in text around 4pm?
I need a pep talk, remind me that I can get through this.
I’m having a tough time, can you help distract me?
I need to vent! Can I call you for a few minutes?
If mom brings up my body size, will you step in?
Leaning on your support system doesn't mean you need someone to fix the situation. Having someone who understands what you're going through can help you feel less alone, validated in your experience, and compassionately cared for.
5. Shift The Attention Away From Food and Toward Connection
When so much attention is placed on the meal, it can be easy to get lost in food and body noise. Try to identify a few things you're looking forward to that are unrelated to food.
A few examples:
Cuddling with a family pet (or your pet that you brought along)
Catching up with extended family
Spending time with home friends
Watching all of the Thanksgiving episodes of Friends
Taking a day off from work
Going on a nature walk
Doing a puzzle
Embrace the moments throughout the day that are activity and ritual based, rather than food based. Engage in deep conversations, laugh with the people around you, and notice when you’re feeling loved, embraced, and accepted. Highlight these moments for others, remind them that holidays are about togetherness, friendship and love.
Final Thoughts
Eating disorder recovery can make holidays feel complicated, especially when the people around you don't share the same relationship with food, bodies, or recovery. You may find yourself navigating uncomfortable conversations, or managing feelings you thought you had moved through. Take a breath, and remember to take it one step at a time. Give yourself some grace. Notice what comes up, lean on your support system, and remember that you deserve to be present for the moments that matter.
You don’t have to navigate this alone. If the holidays bring up difficult feelings around food, body image, or eating disorder recovery, having the right support can make a difference. Therapy can offer a space to work through these challenges, better understand the patterns that come up, and develop tools to navigate them with more confidence and self-compassion.
If you're looking for support in your recovery, I'd love to connect. I work with women navigating eating disorders, body image concerns, and their relationship with food, helping them build a more trusting and connected relationship with themselves. To learn more, take a look at my approach to Eating Disorder Therapy.
I’m Molli, an Eating Disorder Therapist in NYC
Hi there, I’m happy you’re here. Talking to someone about your eating disorder can feel overwhelmingly scary. Even saying the words “eating disorder” can feel scary. The prospect of changing your relationship with food and body may feel impossible.
It’s okay to not know the first step, or to feel afraid. If you’ve been thinking about therapy but keep talking yourself out of it, I get it. Reaching out can feel vulnerable, especially when you’re used to figuring things out on your own. Let’s connect, and we’ll figure it out together.
